Dating, Mating and Relating with Dr. Ish

Pay me my money!

“Money isn’t everything…but it is reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale.

Zig Ziglar

 

Love that quote from Zig! Hi everybody, I had a recent appearance on The Today Show with Nicole Williams from LinkedIn talking about the right way to ask for a raise. I’ve gotten lots and lots of questions about the particulars so I thoughts I’d jot it all and break it all down for you here.

When it comes to asking for and getting what you want, timing is everything! A well-timed request can be the difference between getting everything you want or getting brushed aside. Here’s what we know. Happy people say yes (or some close approximation of a ‘yes’) more often than those who aren’t so a good golden rule to follow when asking for what you want is to ask when they’re in their ‘happy place’. Whether you’re asking for a raise in salary or allowance (listen up kids:) or anything else you want, these tips just may get you over that hump!

Make an appointment: You never want to have an important conversation when the other person is preoccupied, busy, distracted or flat out not available to sit and talk. Best way to avoid that? Ask them, “When’s a good time to talk about my/our _______” (fill in the blank with your request). This way you’ve given them an element of control of the situation and given them time to prepare so they don’t feel ambushed by the topic or request.

Time it around an event: The tried and true best events are when you’re interviewing for a new job, have just received a promotion/change in title, during a performance review, right after you’ve done something noteworthy (a big project, a big favor or helped solve a big problem). This way you don’t have to reach to remind them of your worth.

Time of year: In the Fall lots of companies are planning their next year’s budget, which typically means they’re thinking of ways to save money so most people recommend waiting until January. 16% of all promotions since 2000 occurred in January. Also, Spring in general is one of the most optimistic times of the year; new beginnings and growth are common themes so people are generally more agreeable to trying new things…like paying you new money!

Time of Week: Thursday. Monday is generally spent setting up the goals/tasks for the week. Tuesdays are generally spent carrying out Monday’s demands. Wednesday is ‘Hump Day’, people tend to just want to get through it. Thursday, you’re seeing your way clear, able to see things you’ve accomplished and getting happy about the coming weekend. Friday’s are generally spent finishing up projects and biding your time until Friday night so most of us are a little or a lot distracted. So for my money, Thursday is the day to pop the question!

Time of day: After lunch or after breakfast. We are typically more happy and in a more agreeable mood right after we’ve done something personally satisfying…after a good meal, a good nap or good sex. Unless you happen to be married to or are currently dating your boss or your boss prone to taking ‘power naps’ at work I’d opt for the ‘after a good meal’ option. Generally after breakfast or after lunch are the times when you get the most ‘Yes’ for your buck. The happy chemical in your brain are up, stress and irritability are down and people are generally more relaxed and not as inclined to want to rush off to the next thing…which means they’re less likely to rush you off.

Take small victories at the time of defeat: In the event your request isn’t a smashing success you can still take a smaller victory.

1. Ask for one time bonus as opposed to a raise
2. Ask for a change in title/a better job title
3. Ask what it would take for your request to be seriously considered…then get busy giving them something to consider.

Remember folks, this is money we’re talking about! People aren’t usually just gonna give it away without a good reason so it’s up to you to get in there and make a good argument for yourself!

Until next time,

Dr. Ish

 

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